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Torchwood: Patching Up (Fanfiction)

Patching Up

Series: Stitches Mastlist
Word Count: ~ 1.300
Summary: ”Don't talk then. Show me instead. How you feel.”
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13
Spoiler: Cyberwoman
Setting: sometime in series one
Warnings: Violence
Author's Note: Written for the torchwood_fest Winter Exchange. rudika gave five prompts, I took three and made a series out of them. This is Part Two for the prompt It's not that Jack can't sleep at night - it's that he doesn't want to. Part One was Coming Apart and you need to have read it.
Beta: larsinger29, who also helped me express the boys' feelings a bit better. Thank you!
Disclaimer: I’m not making money with this fanfic. The tv-show Torchwood and the characters appearing within it belong to their producers and creators. Any similarities to living or dead persons are purely coincidental and not intended.

Coming Apart
Stitches Mastlist

***
***


It wasn't that Jack couldn't sleep at night. He didn't want to. His nightmares were persistent, following him around for decades and mixing with new trauma every chance they got. Sometimes, he tried to go to sleep, just to pretend to be normal for a little while, just to escape the long lonely nights at the Hub, but it always ended with him, sweaty and gasping for air in his small bed. Sometimes, he went out, got a drink, got a shag and returned to the Hub, but most of the nights, he stayed in and caught up on paperwork. His body didn't necessarily need sleep since he'd become immortal.

Ianto's on the other hand did. And since he'd returned to work a few days ago, he didn't get enough of it. Always on duty it seemed. Sometimes, like tonight, he surprised Jack by entering his office at one in the morning with a few forms to sign.

Jack slowly took the forms Ianto handed him. ”You're not supposed to be here.”

Ianto glanced at him, acknowledging the words but not answering.

Jack didn't let that put him off and he watched Ianto move some files around, tidying up Jack's desk. Even in the soft lights of his office, Jack could see the dark shadows lingering under Ianto's eyes, the way he held himself with hunched shoulders and ducked head. Jack pinched his lower lip between two fingers thoughtfully, not quite knowing if he should ask, if he had a right to after what had happened. But he couldn't help himself. ”Ianto-”

”I'm fine, sir.”

”You're not.”

”I'd just like to get this done, sir”, Ianto answered and added, ”Please sign the forms so I can file them.” Jack sighed and complied. Ianto gathered the paperwork up and headed for the door.

”Ianto,” Jack said and waited for him to stop before he continued. ”You didn't call me once during your suspension. Did you talk to anybody about what happened?”

Ianto turned around to him. ”Who should I talk to, sir? The team? They don't even know that I hid her.”

Jack folded his hands on his desk. ”That's why I offered to listen.”

Ianto folded his arms over the folders, pressing them against his chest like a shield. ”I don't need to talk, sir.”

”Would you tell me if you did?”

Ianto ducked his head. ”Probably not,” he admitted and left.

Jack sighed. ”I thought so.”

***

Sometime later, Ianto's quiet voice startled Jack out of his work. ”Coffee, sir?”

Jack nodded. He checked his watch. It was just before three in the morning and there was no way that Ianto had been home to sleep. Or at least take a nap. When Ianto set the mug down on Jack's desk, Jack grabbed his wrist.

Ianto raised his head, his blue eyes questioning. ”Sir?”

“I was being serious. You can talk to me.”

Ianto's eyes turned cold. ”To her murderer?”

Jack swallowed. ”I understand that you have problems expressing how you feel or feel scared to be so vulnerable, especially towards me.”

”You understand,” Ianto echoed, his voice as cold as his eyes and, with a hint of mockery, he added, ”Thank you, sir.” He wanted to turn away again but Jack held on to him.

”Don't talk then,” he said, looking at Ianto earnestly. Ianto tilted his head in confusion. Jack explained, ”Show me instead. How you feel.”

Ianto shook his head with a nervous smile and straightened, Jack letting go of his wrist. ”Sir?” His body tensed, though, ready to run, to destroy, to punish, to curl up and cry … Jack didn't know which. He just knew that Ianto was well aware of what Jack was offering, even though he pretended not to.

He got up and stepped around the desk. ”No 'Sir', not right now.” He stared at Ianto challengingly. ”Do it.”

Ianto shook his head and took a step back, avoiding Jack's eyes and folding his hands on his back.

Jack crossed his arms. ”You talk or you express how you feel. There's no other choice here. I will suspend you again until you do one of these things.” He sighed and tried to explain, “It's eating you up. You need to let your emotions out somehow.”

”You're offering to let me hit you,” Ianto said slowly.

Jack shrugged. ”If it's that what you need. You can hit me. Or we could have sex if you want to.” He didn't accompany these words with a flirty smile or a seductive voice like he'd imagined himself doing ever since Ianto had started flirting with him. It would have been for fun back then – now, everything was about need. Sex was just an option.

One Ianto didn't seem to consider, since he took a step back immediately. ”I don't want to have sex with you,” he said, shocked.

”Alright,” Jack replied. Ianto turned to go but Jack's words let him freeze at the door. ”It would be completely off the record. We would never talk about tonight again.” Ianto turned back around to him. Jack shrugged. ”I just want us to get along again and if you need to hit me a few times to get to that point, it's a small price.” Jack could see that Ianto was thinking about it. And then, slowly, he stepped back towards Jack and pulled of his suit jacket. Jack straightened his shoulders and tensed his body, letting his hands hang down by his side – defenceless. Ianto visibly fought himself. He didn't look at him. Jack could see that Ianto was unable to do this … not without help. He swallowed and whispered, ”I don't regret killing her.”

The right hook didn't come as a surprise, but it hurt. As did the next three hits he took against his head before he fell to his knees. Ianto kicked him in the stomach and Jack doubled over.

”Come on,” Ianto said. Jack coughed and looked up at him. Ianto stood there, pale and trembling, staring at him challengingly. ”Come on!” Jack didn't know what Ianto wanted from him. Ianto's face twisted with rage and threw himself on Jack, pushing him to the floor and hitting his head against the concrete – hard. Black spots exploded before Jack's eyes. ”Fight back!” Ianto yelled. ”It's your turn!” He grabbed Jack's collar and then his hands were against Jack's windpipe, squeezing. ”It's your turn,” Ianto panted. Jack gagged and wheezed and the thoughts were running around his head: he couldn't defend himself, this was Ianto's payback and Jack had offered so he'd have to take it ... but Ianto couldn't find out, shouldn't find out about Jack's immortality and Jack had never thought it would come to this ...

Before he could think it through properly, though, his instincts took over and he had flipped them around and pinned Ianto to the floor in a matter of seconds, his hands fisted in Ianto's shirt and his body holding him down. Ianto didn't fight him, he just closed his eyes. And with cold dread, Jack understood that Ianto was waiting for him to hit back, to punish him. That he'd only hit him, pushed him and strangled him because he wanted to provoke him. Because he wanted to be punished.

And it broke Jack's heart.

”It's your turn,” Ianto whispered. Jack's hands brushed through Ianto's hair, one down his cheek, trying to calm him down. Ianto stared at him intently. ”Take your turn.”

”I am,” Jack replied and then he kissed him. Their lips remained closed but the kiss wasn't chaste. Jack lingered, renewing the kiss several times with small pecks. Ianto's hands grabbed his arms, trying to push him away but Jack shook his head. ”It's my turn,” he whispered against Ianto's lips, ”and I forgive you.”

”Why?”

Jack stared at him. ”Because somebody has to.”


END
08/12

Stitching Together on my LJ
Stitches Mastlist

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
mcparrot
Jan. 18th, 2013 12:09 pm (UTC)
Excellent!

I wasn't expecting those last few lines and they were a real gut punch (more than the real punches).
Wonderful. I can't wait for the last one.
jolinarjackson
Jan. 19th, 2013 09:49 am (UTC)
Thank you. :)
tardisjournal
Jan. 18th, 2013 05:48 pm (UTC)
This makes my heart hurt (but in a good way.) You've really captured the tension between them. Jack had an ingenious solution but even he wasn't expecting it to work that well!
jolinarjackson
Jan. 19th, 2013 09:49 am (UTC)
Thank you. :)
lilferret
Jan. 20th, 2013 05:37 am (UTC)
*tears* You have a way with my emotions.
jolinarjackson
Jan. 20th, 2013 08:53 am (UTC)
Is that a good thing? ;)
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )