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Torchwood: Make my day (Fanfiction)

Make my day

Word Count: 1.898
Summary: After a team night Jack finds out about one of Ianto's crushes.
Characters: Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness, Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato, Gwen Cooper, Rhys Williams
Pairing: Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys
Rating: R
Spoiler: Meat
Setting: Season 2 – after Meat
Author's Note: Written for the challenge 007 – Bond, James Bond on redisourcolor . Using the sentence "Oh, you have got to be joking." and the words popcorn, rain and twilight. Inspired by this outtake (links to YouTube). And even though I know that “Make me day” is a quote from Dirty Harry, I couldn't resist.
Feedback: Can’t breathe without it.
Disclaimer: I’m not making money with this fanfic. The tv-show Torchwood and the characters appearing within it belong to their producers and creators. Any similarities to living or dead persons are purely coincidental and not intended.


The rain was battering the windows to Ianto's flat, pushed against the glass by the storm raging outside. The six people inside the dimly lit living room were too engrossed in the movie to care. Ianto's flat was small and a little crowded at the moment but it was warm and cosy and the team was unwinding after the case with the space whale. So Ianto didn't fuss over the empty wrappers, bottles, glasses and the small beer puddle on the table that was there since a bet gone bad. Owen had challenged Gwen, telling her that she wouldn't be able to hit him in the face with a pillow form the other side of the room – she didn't, instead spilling his half-empty beer bottle.

"Now look," Owen said from his perch in the armchair. He was resting with his back against one armrest, his legs dangling over the other side, a bowl of popcorn in his lap. "My favourite scene."

Tosh was sharing one of the small couches with Jack and Ianto, her back against the armrest, legs drawn up and entangled with Ianto's. "I knew you would say that."

They all watched Halle Berry coming out of the sea wearing the orange bikini.

"That's so hot," Owen said. "I'd shag her."

Jack just grinned.

Tosh nodded. "Totally."

When Gwen nodded in agreement, Rhys' eyes widened. "Seriously, Gwen?"

She turned her head on his shoulder to look up at him. "Seriously."

They were cuddled up on the other couch with a blanket covering them both.

"Now," Rhys said, "that is hot."

After Gwen had refused to retcon him, Jack had insisted that he should at least spend an evening with the team. He'd told her that he wanted to get to know him better. Ianto assumed that he just wanted to be sure that Rhys was trust-worthy.

Jack wrapped an arm around Ianto's waist and pulled him closer to rest against his chest. Ianto sighed and turned his head on Jack's shoulder to drop a kiss on his neck.

Jack's hand slipped under Ianto's dark blue hoodie, caressing warm skin before coming to rest on his stomach. Tosh's foot nudged Ianto's hip and he looked at her. She was smiling, obviously happy for him.

He smiled back, relaxing into Jack's embrace.

"You wanna know what I'm thinking about?" Jack asked softly.

Ianto grinned up at him. "Is it G-rated?"

"Not really," Jack answered. "I'm thinking about Pierce Brosnan doing you. With me watching."

Owen snorted. Rhys turned his head to look at them and, upon noticing the intimate embrace, froze.

Owen said, "I think you could do better than Pierce Brosnan, tea boy. You could even do better than Jack."

Jack just grinned at him. "Jealous?"

"Hell, no," the doctor answered.

Tosh said, "I'm thinking Ianto and Jake Gyllenhaal. He's hot."

"Yeah," Ianto nodded. "He's hot."

Gwen sighed. "How come that we discuss Halle Berry and end up with talking about Jake Gyllenhaal?"

"Jack's dirty mind," Tosh answered. "It's always Jack's dirty mind."

"Hey!" the captain pouted.

Ianto laughed and got up, kissing Jack's lips. "Who wants another drink?" he asked. Gwen, Jack, Owen and Tosh raised their hands and Ianto went into the kitchen to fetch the requested beer from the frigde.

Jack got up. "I'm gonna help him."

Owen rolled his eyes, "Please close the door ... and remember: No glove, no love." He got a pillow in his face for his efforts.

As soon as Jack was gone – and the kitchen door had fallen shut – Rhys nudged Gwen with his shoulder. "You could have told me, you know."

"What?" she asked, clueless.

"That they're gay."

Owen snorted, but refrained from commenting, instead focusing on the movie.

Gwen narrowed her eyes. "Does it matter?"

"Of course not, but, you know, it could have helped to know that two of the three guys you're spending every minute of the day and quite a few of the night with aren't into women."

Gwen smiled. "Are you jealous?"

His pout was all the answer she needed and she kissed him. "That's so cute."

There was silence for a moment, then Owen said, "Besides, they're not gay. Ianto had a girlfriend once and Jack's pretty versatile."

"Owen!" Gwen hissed.

"What?" he asked. "Rhys will feel better when he knows the truth. Right, mate?"

Rhys just glared at him.

Tosh shook her head at Owen, then she addressed Rhys, "It doesn't really matter since Jack and Ianto are an item."

"Shagging like bunnies, those two," Owen nodded.

Gwen kissed Rhys lips and tried to smooth out his frown with her hand, not quite succeeding.

Rhys knew it was silly, but Jack was making him insecure. He was gorgeous, even Rhys had to admit that even though he wasn't into blokes, and Gwen spend so much time with him at work that it was unsettling. He looked at Jack and Ianto when they returned to the living room. Ianto looked slightly dishevelled and Jack rather proud of himself.

That was enough for Rhys to put his mind at rest. At least for the moment.


Ianto gave the kitchen a last once-over before he decided that it was tidy enough. He looked at the clock. Jack would be back soon. After they'd decided that Owen and Tosh were too buzzed to drive home, Jack had volunteered to give them a lift. Gwen and Rhys had left with the trio and Ianto had made use of the time alone to clean his living room and kitchen. Jack had asked him to wait until he would be back to help, but Ianto liked it better to clean up alone. Jack was a bit sloppy and cleaning with him would only end up with sex on the living room floor.

Ianto looked out his kitchen window. Cardiff was surrounded by the white and orange twilight produced by street lamps. It was still raining. Ianto could see his reflection in the glass and raised a hand to smooth his short hair down. He straightened his shoulders and brushed a hand down his hoodie. Then he smiled. He didn't look bad, he decided. A bit tired after a stressful day and the James Bond marathon. Lisa had teased him endlessly when she'd been over at Ianto's flat for the first time and had found the James Bond collection in his living room. Ianto couldn't help it. Ever since he'd been a kid, he'd been fascinated by James Bond. He'd read the novels and watched all the movies. Lisa had always assumed that he liked wearing suits because of his love for the secret agent. Ianto didn't know if that was true. He'd never really thought about it. Sometimes, though, he wished he could be a little more like James. Self-confident, witty and charming.

He put his hands on hips and stared into his reflection with determination. "Bond. James Bond," he said, feeling silly a second later. His eyes caught movement in the reflection of his kitchen and a soft chuckle made him whirl around.

"Oh, you have got to be joking!" Jack grinned.

Ianto blushed in embarrassment and pushed past Jack towards the bedroom. "I didn't hear you come in."

Jack grinned in amusement, switched off the light in the kitchen and in the living room, just leaving the light in the small hallway on. When he arrived in the bedroom, Ianto was standing in front the open closet, trying to decide what to wear the next morning. Jack noticed that he was ignoring him, his shoulders pulled up, and he couldn't help but smile while he took off his coat.

Ianto was embarrassed beyond belief. Something that didn't happen often.

Jack decided to tease him a bit. He wrapped his arms around Ianto from behind and kissed his neck. "Did you just pretend to be James Bond?"

Ianto shrugged him off. "And if I was?" he asked defiantly, not meeting Jack's eyes, instead yanking two suits out of the wardrobe and looking at them.

"Then you're even more adorable than I thought," Jack answered.

Ianto ignored him.

Jack laughed. "I mean, after what happened this afternoon, I'm not really surprised. I saw you with that gun." He wrapped his arms around Ianto once again and whispered in his ear, "'Make my day' was it, right?"

Ianto put the suits back where they belonged and tried to escape towards the bathroom, but Jack caught up with him at the door. He grabbed Ianto's hips and picked him up, throwing him over his shoulder.

"Jack! Jack, put me down!"

The air was forced from Ianto's lungs when Jack dropped him on the bed, pinning him to the mattress with his weight, his body between Ianto's outstretched legs. "You're so adorable," Jack grinned and brushed a hand through Ianto's soft hair, making it stick up in odd angles. His other hand slipped underneath the loose hoodie, roaming over smooth skin. Despite the glare Ianto was giving him, the younger man shivered and arched into Jack's body, his fingers wrapping around Jack's braces to pull him closer.

"So adorable," Jack repeated and kissed him heatedly. Ianto wrapped his legs around Jack's waist, his resolve melting under the ministrations of his lover. Jack dropped kisses on Ianto's face and neck before he nuzzled his cheek. Ianto gasped and closed his eyes when nimble fingers opened his jeans and slipped underneath. Jack looked at him and smiled. He dropped a kiss on Ianto's face and pressed their foreheads together. Strands of Jack's hair got wrapped around Ianto's fingers and when he opened his blue eyes to look at Jack, the captain was taken aback – like always – by how young he looked with his hair messed up, the flushed cheeks and the fevered spark in his eyes. Jack reminded himself that Ianto didn't look young, he was young. Barely twenty-five. At work, he acted so much more mature, hiding his youth behind his suits. Here, dressed in a hoodie and jeans, stretched out beneath Jack's body and so trusting ... he looked like seventeen.

"Jones, Ianto Jones," Jack whispered. "That's how you introduced yourself when we met."

Ianto closed his eyes in embarrassment. "Just drop it."

Jack grinned. "The suits."


"You a big fan?"

Ianto sighed deeply and Jack removed his hands from Ianto's jeans, caressing his cheek.


"You never told me."

"I've got all the movies and the books. They're right there in the living room, in plain sight."

"I'm not interested in your shelves when I'm here," Jack leered.

Ianto rolled his eyes. "You know, it's not that big of a deal. I just like the stories, okay?"

Jack grinned. "You've got a crush on him."


"That's so-"

Ianto's hand on his mouth muffled the "adorable", but they both heard it anyway. Jack licked Ianto's palm and the younger man pulled it away. "I just like the stories," Ianto said.

Jack kissed his neck. "Hm," he answered, not convinced, and slipped his hand back into Ianto's jeans.

"There's nothing adorable about that. Many people like James Bond."

"Hm." Jack pushed the sweater up to kiss down Ianto's chest.

"I haven't got a crush on him."

Jack looked up at him from under his eyelashes. "Ianto ... trying to be your Bond boy here. Shut up."

Ianto laughed. ”Make my day, Captain.”


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( 34 comments — Leave a comment )
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Aug. 22nd, 2010 01:00 pm (UTC)
This was ADORABLE!!!!! This is going to be one of my fav stories!!! XD

LOL "Ianto...trying to be your Bond boy here." This was great!!!

AND you made Ianto wear jeans and a sweater...ADORABLE!!!!
Aug. 23rd, 2010 11:47 am (UTC)
Thanks. :) Jeans and sweater is a much better look on him. And I couldn't imagine him cuddling on the couch with Jack in a suit (though, you never know ... maybe he would do it ;)).
Aug. 22nd, 2010 01:18 pm (UTC)
LOVE IT!!:)))
Aug. 23rd, 2010 11:48 am (UTC)
Thank you. :)
Aug. 22nd, 2010 03:21 pm (UTC)
Awww...Now this is the kind of glimpse into their relationship I'd have loved at least one more season to explore. Lovely. <333
Aug. 23rd, 2010 11:49 am (UTC)
Yeah, that would have been nice.

Thank you. :)
Aug. 22nd, 2010 03:33 pm (UTC)
Aw, that was adorable and hilarious. I lol'd when Ianto put his hand over Jack's mouth to try to (unsuccessfully) shut him up. I loved the team atmosphere, too. I love how you have Tosh and Ianto so comfortable around each other, and Rhys' hilarious reaction to Janto. This fic is so cute I just want to cuddle it.

P.S. When you say volatile, I think you might mean versatile?
Aug. 22nd, 2010 04:05 pm (UTC)
Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaa love it!!!
(no subject) - jolinarjackson - Aug. 23rd, 2010 11:53 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jolinarjackson - Aug. 23rd, 2010 11:51 am (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 22nd, 2010 04:48 pm (UTC)
Love this so much! I especially like that you mentioned Ianto's age. It really is easy to forget that he's so young! The team-bonding is great too :)
Aug. 23rd, 2010 11:53 am (UTC)
Thank you. :) Glad you liked it.
Aug. 22nd, 2010 05:17 pm (UTC)
This was sweet! :D
Aug. 23rd, 2010 11:54 am (UTC)
Thanks. :)
Aug. 22nd, 2010 07:57 pm (UTC)
That was gorgeous- I loved Owen's 'helpful' explanations to Rhys, poor Ianto's embarrassment and most especially Jack's offer to be the Bond boy :)
Aug. 23rd, 2010 11:55 am (UTC)
Thanks. Subtle is definitely not on Owen's list of things to be. :)
Aug. 22nd, 2010 08:04 pm (UTC)
Love Ianto getting caught pretending to be James Bond. He's always so serious...its nice to see that still has some of the 'kid' spirit in him.
Aug. 23rd, 2010 11:58 am (UTC)
Thank you. I love the outtake from Meat. After I watched it, I couldn't get it out of my head. He's always very serious, but I can't imagine him being that way 24/7, especially in season 2 where he gets all those good lines.
Aug. 22nd, 2010 10:53 pm (UTC)
This is wonderful! And thanks for posting it in German, I understood most of it and that made me feel better. After six levels of German and I can't read Harry Potter, but I can read Torchwood fic!
Aug. 23rd, 2010 11:59 am (UTC)
Thank you. :) Congrats on understanding the German version (it's not an easy language). I'm surprised, really, just how many people out there are learning the language of our small country. :)
Aug. 22nd, 2010 11:43 pm (UTC)
^_^ oh his just made MY day. love the 'trying to be your Bond boy here' *snots* love it.
Aug. 23rd, 2010 12:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
Aug. 23rd, 2010 12:43 am (UTC)
That's really cute! :)
Aug. 23rd, 2010 12:00 pm (UTC)
Thanks. :) Love your icon, btw.
Aug. 23rd, 2010 02:47 am (UTC)
Loved this! So much fun to see everyone together, including Rhys. It's lovely to see the boys so affectionate with each other even when others are around.
Aug. 23rd, 2010 12:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :) They're always so restrained during working hours. But Jack's a tactile person. I can't imagine him being "professional" 24/7.
Aug. 23rd, 2010 02:56 am (UTC)
This is lovely. I really liked the team-bonding at the beginning, and the playfullness between Jack and Ianto throughout the fic.
Aug. 23rd, 2010 12:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
Aug. 23rd, 2010 05:48 am (UTC)
Oh this is so Ianto. Loved thia, it was fab.
Aug. 23rd, 2010 12:02 pm (UTC)
Thanks. :)
Aug. 23rd, 2010 04:38 pm (UTC)
Tosh said, "I'm thinking Ianto and Jake Gyllenhaal. He's hot."

"Yeah," Ianto nodded. "He's hot."

omg, I sooo agree!!!
Where is the link to that fantasy???

Cute and funny - and I meant the story, not Jake!! Although ..... :D
Thank you!!
Aug. 24th, 2010 10:24 am (UTC)
Thank you. :)

It's a nice fantasy, indeed.
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( 34 comments — Leave a comment )