?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

The Enemy Within

Word Count: 41.485
Summary: Following Ianto's betrayal, Jack thinks that the team may be broken for good. He tries to heal the mental wounds while being unable to quite forgive Ianto himself. When the team is faced with a threat using mental powers to gain access to Torchwood, none of them realize that the enemy is already among them.
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato, Gwen Cooper, Rhys Williams, Myfanwy, OCs
Pairing: Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys, Tosh/OC, Owen/OC
Rating: PG-13
Spoiler: Day One, Cyberwoman
Setting: after Cyberwoman
Warnings: Language, really short dub-con (kissing) but nothing beyond the boundaries of the show
Disclaimer: I’m not making money with this fanfic. The tv-show Torchwood and the characters appearing within it belong to their producers and creators. Any similarities to living or dead persons are purely coincidental and not intended.

Chapter 4
Masterlist

***
***


5.


Ianto hadn't seen off-duty-Jack for a while but when the archivist returned to the main Hub after closing the tourist office, Jack was standing in his office, going through some files. His braces were hanging down and his light blue shirt was a crumbled mess on his office chair. The white t-shirt he wore underneath was untucked. Ianto couldn't help himself. He went to the captain's chair and took the shirt, folding it neatly before putting it on the edge of the desk to take with him later and add to the laundry. Jack watched him with his dark eyebrows raised.

”You are nervous,” he finally said.

Ianto nodded.

”Yes, sir.”

”Why?”

Ianto swallowed, folded his hands behind his back and answered, ”I don't know, sir.”

Jack shoved his hands into his trouser pockets and nodded towards his own chair.

”Sit down, Ianto.”

The young man rounded the desk and slowly sat in Jack's chair. He folded his hands in his lap and fixed his eyes on a point on the brick wall just above Jack's shoulder. He believed that he knew what was happening here. It had been a wonder that Jack hadn't given him Retcon after Lisa's death. Maybe he'd realized now that he couldn't keep Ianto here after all.

The captain sighed, rubbed his forehead and then stepped in-between the desk and the chair. He turned the chair and Ianto to face him and perched on the edge of the desk. His chest was blocking Ianto's line of vision and since Ianto didn't want to sit there, staring at the captain's body, he ducked his head. He noticed that Jack was sitting on some papers for UNIT and pulled them out from under Jack to put them aside. Some of them were dog-eared now and Ianto tried to smooth them out.

”This isn't going to work,” Jack said and Ianto felt his stomach drop.

His hands stilled. Jack gently took hold of Ianto's chin and forced him to look him in the eyes. Ianto took a breath and answered, ”Please don't, captain.”

”I don't know what else to do.”

”I'm sorry.”

”This isn't the kind of thing you can just be sorry for. You're hurting the team. You're hurting me. And it has to stop, Ianto.”

The younger man ducked his head and Jack let him go. Ianto pulled his hands back to rest them on his thighs. He forced back tears, then he met Jack's gaze.

”I need Torchwood. Please, captain. Don't send me away.”

Jack frowned.

”No one's sending you away.”

Ianto's confusion must have shown on his face, because Jack leaned forward and shook his head.

”Don't you realize what's going on? You're abusing yourself. I can't have that. You collapsed twice. If that's not a warning sign I don't know what is.” He straightened up and crossed his arms. ”To make myself clear: I want you to stay, Ianto. You're great at what you do and despite recent events you aren't giving up. I think that all of us can be really good together, as a team, but it'll take some time. So I don't want you to force it. Not when your health pays the price.”

Ianto ducked his head again, looking at his hands.

”I'm trying.”

”I know that. But, you see … you were at Canary Wharf. You've seen what those … things can do.”

Ianto had seen it – the fall of Torchwood One. He remembered fire and screams and blood. Cybermen in every room, taking Torchwood personnel with them, killing them or worse: converting them. Like Lisa.

Jack continued, “And you hid one of them. It nearly got loose, it almost managed to take over. It was very close to killing us. What you did was incredibly stupid, it was a betrayal of our trust and worst of all, it got two people killed. Tanazaki knew the risk, that's true, but that poor girl?”

”I know, sir,” Ianto answered. ”I'm sorry.”

”But,” Jack continued and Ianto looked up at him, ”after everything settled down and during your suspension, I realized that it played you. And it played you well. It used Lisa's memories to make you believe that she was still there. I realize how much you loved her and I realize that you thought she was the only one you had left after Canary Wharf. I understand loneliness and that you did everything you could to avoid it. You didn't want things to turn out the way they did. That's why I didn't report it to UNIT.” Ianto stared at his hands again. Jack sighed.

”That's why I trust you to do your job and the others will, too. Tosh has already forgiven you, right? Gwen's half-way there and Owen's making an effort.”

Ianto nodded. They sat in silence for a minute, Jack waiting for Ianto to say something and Ianto unsure as to how to voice his question – wondering if he should voice it all.

He cleared his throat.

”What about you?”

Jack could have acted ignorant and asked Ianto what he was talking about but he didn't. It wouldn't help matters, maybe only make things worse than they already were.

He took a moment to think about his answer, before he said, ”It's different, Ianto.”

”Yes,” Ianto answered.

”You used me.”

Ianto nodded.

”And I feel like I forced you to do something that you didn't want to do. Like I forced you into my bed.”

Ianto raised his head, an incredulous expression on his face.

”No. Don't think that, captain.”

Jack sighed.

”I'm trying, okay?”

Ianto nodded.

”I just wish you would accept my apology, sir.”

”I can't. Not yet.” He was still feeling betrayed and used and confused … sometimes he wanted to embrace Ianto and help him overcome what had happened, sometimes the anger bubbled to the surface.

Ianto nodded.

”I see.” He hated this abyss between them but Jack didn't need to know that. He was going out of his way already by making sure that the team accepted Ianto back and by not sending him away. He was taking care of him. Ianto looked at Jack and smiled helplessly.

”But just to be clear, sir, you didn't force me. I came on to you.”

Which wasn't really true, Jack had been the one initiating the flirting. But Ianto had been the one who had kissed him the first time.

”So … why?” Jack asked. ”You could have easily distracted me without sex.”

”I needed your trust,” Ianto answered, choking on the words, ”so I gave you what you wanted.” He couldn't tell Jack that it became so much more to him. The captain could take it as emotional blackmail. Besides, he didn't even know if Jack would still be interested in him. Sure, he'd told Ianto that he felt hurt and used, but that could just be his pride talking and not his feelings.

What had happened between them had never been more than sex. They didn't date or built a relationship. Most of the time, sex had been the ending of an exhausting day of work. Jack had flirted with him over the last stack of paperwork, grinning and offering whatever Ianto wanted and Ianto had accepted. He was ashamed to confess even to himself that he'd done so gladly the last few times. A few hours in Jack's bed had been a few hours without worrying about Lisa or being found out. A few hours for him to ask for anything he wanted and getting it. It always ended the same – no promises or strings attached. They left Jack's bedroom and were boss and secretary and he could never be sure when it would happen the next time.

Jack closed his eyes.

”As simple as that?”

Ianto nodded.

”As simple as that, sir.”

***

Jack knew it was foolish. And he'd promised himself not to let it happen again because as an immortal, as someone who had travelled through time and space, he lost too many people in his life, but he'd become attached. Attached to a little planet called Earth, to Torchwood Three, attached to the team and to Ianto Jones.

He was sitting with his his arms crossed in a corner of his small bedroom under his office, his knees bent. It was almost dark down here, only a little light penetrated through the open hatch, coming from the main Hub, filtered by the blinds drawn down over the windows of his office. The bed was narrow, nothing more than a cot, really. The only other furniture was a small bedside table and a wooden chest of drawers Jack had bought in the 70s.

Ianto was sleeping peacefully, dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants, huddled into a ball under Jack's blanket in Jack's bed and it was kind of ironic. They'd slept together in this bed many times, always after sex, when Ianto had been too tired to go home or Jack had been too comfortable to let him go.

Ianto sleeping there, alone and under the influence of sleeping pills, seemed wrong. They had eaten after their conversation, making painful small talk, then Ianto had taken the pills and fallen asleep a short time later.

Jack got up and stepped to the bed. He reached out a hand brushed it through Ianto's dark hair tenderly, allowing himself to touch the younger man now that he was asleep. Jack's eyes traced Ianto's face, the dark circles under his eyes and the pale skin and even though he would never admit it and never do it – he wanted to crawl into the bed and cuddle up to him. Not for sex. Just to rest. Before Lisa happened, he'd enjoyed Ianto's company, his knowledge about old movies Jack had last seen when they'd been shown for the very first time, his quick wit and quiet intelligence. Jack wasn't in love. Far from it. He'd been in love too many times to count and he knew exactly what it felt like, but this thing with Ianto, it hadn't been just about sex in the end, either.

Not for him.

Chapter 6

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
jsks
Oct. 18th, 2010 02:04 pm (UTC)
loved the talk between ianto and jack.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )