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Lie To Me: Lie To Yourself (Fanfiction)

Lie To Yourself

Word Count: 565
Summary: Eli had such an expressive face. Cal loved to watch him.
Characters: Cal Lightman, Eli Loker
Pairing: Cal/Eli
Rating: PG-13
Spoiler: None
Setting: Season 1
Author's Note: My first Lie To Me fanfic. So, be kind. I don't know if I'll write more for this fandom, but this story caught me by surprise and I had to get it out. And surprisingly enough, this pairing needs every story it can get.
Feedback: Can’t breathe without it.
Disclaimer: I’m not making money with this fanfic. The tv-show Lie To Me and the characters appearing within it belong to their producers and creators. Any similarities to living or dead persons are purely coincidental and not intended.

***
***


"I don't love you," Eli said, shrugging into his jacket.

Cal stretched, his naked body hidden beneath the duvet, and pillowed his head on one of his arms. "Huh," he huffed. "Where did that come from?"

"Just saying," Eli answered. He kept his head ducked, fussing with the zipper of his jacket like a three-year-old. "We're just a habit."

"I agree," Cal answered. "A good habit, though."

Eli looked up and a smile graced his features – fake. Cal looked closer and ... oh, there it was! Exactly what he'd been looking for. "I'm hurt," he said.

Eli grabbed his bag from the threadbare couch in the corner. The hotel was cheap, but not seedy. Just like their office affair.

"Hurt?" Eli echoed.

"You should know better than to lie to me."

Eli's eyebrows raised, his eyes got bigger and his lips thinned ... fear. Eli had such an expressive face. Cal loved to watch him. At work: Silent stubbornness, open rebellion or excited brilliance. With colleagues: steadfast support, quick wit or honest criticism. With Cal, alone in hotel rooms, between the sheets: carefully guarded passion, insecurity and desperate need. Cal liked that Eli best, because he was still a riddle, because he was still able to surprise Cal. Like with that thing he did every time he came: He tucked his face into the juncture of Cal's neck and shoulder – so, so scared of showing something and trying to hide it. There had been a time when Cal had thought he'd worked Eli out. Then they'd started having sex, and Eli turned into a puzzle undone.

Eli ignored the hidden accusation and headed for the door. "I gotta get home," he muttered.

"Why did you say it?" Cal asked.

Eli froze, his back to Cal. He didn't answer.

Cal prodded, "You didn't have to mention it at all, so why did you?" He watched Eli ducking his head – shame –, heard his breath hitch – anxiety –, and saw him pull his shoulders up – protection against something. Against Cal.

Eli's forehead met the door with a dull thud – defeat. "I don't know."

"You can't lie to me."

"I know."

"Maybe you were trying to lie to someone else?"

Eli turned around. Clear, attentive eyes – curiosity.

Cal continued, "Maybe you tried to lie to yourself." It was Cal's turn to look curious. "Did it work?"

Eli ducked his head again, his trainers scuffing against the ugly carpet.

Cal sighed. "Well, it never works – lying to yourself."

Eli kept standing at the door like a chastened child. Not speaking, not looking at him – ashamed.

Cal cleared his throat. "Look at me, Loker."

Eli did so hesitantly.

Cal said, "I don't love you."

Eli stared at him – watching, looking, analyzing. Finding only honesty. Finally, he ducked his head again. "Alright."

"We won't take about this anymore. I'll be here in this room, Friday at seven. I'll wait 'til eight o'clock. If you don't turn up, this is over and it won't affect work. It's entirely your decision."

Eli nodded. He opened the door.

"Loker," Cal said. He waited until Eli met his eyes reluctantly, then he said, "I care about you. Tell me what you see."

Eli's voice was hesitant. "It's the truth."

"Good," Cal said, nodding. "Just thought you should know."

Eli nodded slowly and left.


END
03/11

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Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
calmena
Mar. 5th, 2011 07:09 am (UTC)
Oh, you're so, so right, this pairing is sadly underrated. But you don't have to be unsure about this fic, definitely not, because it's extremely good. You have their voices down perfectly.

Poor Eli, though. Cal might have been sensitive there, but I imagine it still hurt. *cuddles*

If you ever consider writing more for this pairing - do it. Because this was very good - it's worth repeating.
jolinarjackson
Mar. 5th, 2011 12:46 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :) I'm glad you liked it. I'm still thinking about writing more. Maybe even a sequel (I'm usually a sucker for happy endings), but I'm not sure yet.

I was actually surprised that I didn't find many stories about them. No matter if slash or gen, they're perfect for fanfic. All that tension just under the surface. Sadly underrated.
calmena
Mar. 9th, 2011 03:59 pm (UTC)
(Sorry about the late reply. School is eating my time...)

Oh, you should definitely write more. Though I think this is good without a sequel as well (even if I can understand you, because happy endings? I love them), since it fits so well.

In my opinion the whole series is underrated. The fanfiction just shows how badly underrated it is. Normally, when I go looking for fanfiction about a series, I find a lot - which is probably because normally the series has been on tv a lot longer in the US and people there have had more time to get to writing fanfic. But with Lie to me? Not so much. Really, most of the fanfiction is Gilian/Lightman - not that I hate the pairing, it's just sad that there doesn't seem to be anything else written.

...Sorry about the rambling, I just can't seem to help myself sometimes. :'D
jolinarjackson
Mar. 10th, 2011 12:52 pm (UTC)
So you don't live in the US? Where did you live?

Yeah, there's this one pairing everyone is focussing on and that's kinda sad - even though I like that pairing, too.
calmena
Mar. 10th, 2011 03:30 pm (UTC)
I live in Austria - it takes far too long until a series gets translated and is shown on tv here.

Yes, the pairing does have its perks of course, but as you said - everyone focuses on it and to me it is the pairing I "fall back on" when there is nothing else to read - though I do try to be open to all pairings (I even gave Gillian/Ria a try at some point - it was surprisingly endearing).
jolinarjackson
Mar. 11th, 2011 01:02 pm (UTC)
it takes far too long until a series gets translated and is shown on tv here.

Oh, I hear you. It's the same here in Germany. Really frustrating.

Gillian/Ria sounds interesting, too.
calmena
Mar. 11th, 2011 06:02 pm (UTC)
Oh, you being from Germany makes sense, considering your story are available in German too. I only just noticed that. :'D

Well, we do have the same tv programs you do, mostly, so we are companions in misfortune, I guess.

It was. Surprising, but sort of cute.
jolinarjackson
Mar. 12th, 2011 12:52 pm (UTC)
Companions in misfortune. :D Exactly.
teamane
Apr. 2nd, 2011 01:24 pm (UTC)
Poor Eli, he's always strugling with himself ^.^
It's great to read a fic with this pairing; they are so rare!
I liked it a lot.
:D
jolinarjackson
Apr. 3rd, 2011 10:54 am (UTC)
Thank you. :)
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )